The Kind Of Woman | How To Be Truly Supportive Of One Another

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Hey everyone, welcome back to The Kind Of Woman, a series where Erin and I discuss topics that surrounds modern womanhood. I hope you enjoyed our last posts on being the perfectionist.

This time, we want to open up our thoughts on women supporting women – how to be truly supportive of one another?

Interestingly enough, I took women studies back in college and became quite keen on advocating for women’s rights and empowerment. I really enjoy creating a sense of community for women and supporting each other in positive ways. This feeling comes very natural to me, and I must admit, it has helped me so much personally and professionally. I suppose it’s a good thing that in lifestyle blogging, it’s also made up of mostly women. So, I feel very much in my element that I’m able to support the talented women that I’m constantly surrounded with.

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Sadly, we all know that that’s not always the case. In a room full of women, it can also cause a lot of  bad mouthing and unnecessary judgement. Luckily, I have not experienced this too much myself, but I’ve certainly witnessed a few cases. This recent blog post, The Minimalist Pixie Dream Girl: Who Is She & Why I Hate Her, went viral because of it. The author was depicting a type of women who seems to be living an unreal “styled” life. It caused a bit of controversy. On one side, this styled-out woman is supposed to be aspirational and showcasing taste. On the other, “this woman” is causing bad mental health and insecurity among other women.

For me, I can see both sides of the story, but I do wonder about the intention of this blog post. Was it written to prove a point? Or was it written out of jealousy and lack of self-confidence? Because I don’t think I was the only one who sensed the attack behind this author’s voice. Here are two comments that particularly stood out to me from that post:

“I agree with you that woman should be celebrating and pursuing a lifestyle that makes them happy. Puppy pics and pretty pictures also makes me happy so I say keep up the amazing styling, pretty pics and positivity right? Why all the negative about essentially positivity right? I mean, styled flowers and coffee against a white background – whether it was effortless or not, staged or just good lightning seems pretty positive to me. But I guess some people find it offensive? Chelsea is entitled to her opinion on this, as its her blog however, I do view this article as a “hate” article – i mean the title is “why i hate her …” about someone’s taste and an INTENTIONAL attack on it. I understand the media pressure for woman to be smarter, thinner, prettier, richer but woman should all be smart enough to not be so impressionable and more importantly to stop tearing each other down.”

“…This is simply a matter of taste. Either it’s your thing or its not. It’s extreme to say that the intent of these content creators is to make the audience feel bad about themselves or their lives, since appreciation of the aesthetic is entirely subjective. If someone feels bad about themselves or their life/lifestyle after viewing it, that says more about their own internal feelings than it does about the works or the authors of those works.”

This article from Goop also did an excellent job in explaining why women criticize each other, and how we can find ways to play bigger.

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I’m not saying I’m a saint and have not had jealousy or criticized others in the past. It is so easy to feel inadequate about ourselves when we’re constantly focusing on other people’s successes and lavish lifestyles. But I think with maturity and learning on how to focus on myself, it has been some of the most helpful ways to dealing with these feelings. I came to appreciate on what I have, and really defining on what I want to accomplish in my life and career. With that, I’m able to look at other women’s successes, respect their differences, and be genuinely happy for them. And more importantly, be inspired by them. It is with this mindset that I’m able surround myself with many talented and ambitious women, just like Erin.

Ending this post with a simple quote:

“I want to be around people that do things. I don’t want to be around people anymore that judge or talk about what people do. I want to be around people that dream and support and do things.” – Amy Poehler

What are your thoughts or ways on truly supporting women? Please share them here, and don’t forget to read up on Erin’s thoughts on Apartment 34! It’s also one of her very last posts before going into labor!

xo Jeanne

Photos by Ashley Batz, shot at Lou & Grey. Check out our past topics on The Kind Of Women