Things I’m Afraid To Tell You


things i'm afraid to tell you

I’m not even sure how to start this post because 1) it has nothing to do with shopping or pretty things, and 2) it’s Friday and I don’t know how many of you are up for reading something this deep. If you’ve been here for a while, you would know that my posts are generally very light-hearted, so blogging about this is completely out of the norm for me.

I have been blogging for over a year now and been thinking quite a bit about the ups & downs. I’ve been wanting to share some insights, particularly the downside of it, but I can’t bring myself to be brave enough to share it with you… especially on this blog because I’m suppose to be inspiring you with all the pretty and happy things, and how glamorous and easy blogging really is. So I’m afraid that if I tell you the uglier side of things, you might see this blog differently.

But somehow, I still have a strong urge to share this with you. I feel like we all go through similar struggles, one way or the other. And then I came across this challenge, “Things I’m Afraid To Tell You”from EZ of Creature Comforts yesterday. I normally don’t read post more than 2 paragraphs long but this one really grabbed me. This challenge was giving me that extra push to share all the things I’ve been afraid to tell you and I cannot thank EZ enough for encouraging this community to share our struggles….. so, here it is, I’m spilling the beans…

1. I don’t follow blogs. I never did. I didn’t even read one single blog before I started blogging. The only reason I would follow your blog now is either we met in person, we somehow developed a relationship through Twitter, or you’re just really really big like Design Sponge. I know, this is really bad because I’m not really, really big myself and I expect you to follow mine.

I also have another reason why I don’t follow blogs. It’s because I would start comparing. I start to think of all the bad stuff like oh, I’m not creative enough or oh, I’m not cut out at doing this. Then I get into this really competitive/jealousy mode that it boggles me down. And then the next thing I know is that I wasted my energy trying to be better than everyone else’s that I forget to focus on my myself.

2. I want to quit blogging. Blogging is hard, man! Unless you’re doing blogging as a hobby or you don’t really care for your numbers or traffic,  it IS a lot of work!  I go through these roller coaster feelings where sometimes I feel like I achieved a lot and then the next day I feel so shitty that I just want to quit altogether. There are a lot of pressure in keeping up with the trend and be original at the same time. And when it boils down to whether or not your blog is making the bucks…sometimes you just want to give up. (Ok, don’t worry, I don’t think I am anytime soon. I’m just sayin’.)

3. You might think I’m really vain. It gets to me sometimes when all I talk about on this blog are either material things, pretty things, swags, cool events, and who’s who that I met… dah, dah, dah.. and then I’m scared that you would think I don’t really know what’s happening in the real world. Sometimes, I ‘m afraid I would turn into that person too. I would go through a week without reading any news, and then get so consumed with the blog world that I forget there are people suffering out there and facing real world problems.

4. I’m afraid of being taking advantage of. As a blog grows, more and more companies and brands will approach you with free stuff. Yes, you can get pretty jaded and   it’s nice to get free products and blog about it. But after a while, you start to think, does my time really only worth $25 of that product you just gave me? So, right now I’m trying to be careful of not being taking advantage of, or perhaps, do what’s in my best interest.

5. I’m worried that I’m a bad mom. I first quit my job to be a full-time stay at home mom. But now, I’m slowly creeping back into a full-time work schedule with my blog. I’m worried that I’m not spending enough time with my baby. Luckily, I do have my mother watching her and that she’s spending quality time with the grandparents, but still… there’s a part of me that does feel guilty for not taking care of her myself.

6. My diet has gone terribly bad. I go through days sometimes with just a cup or two of coffee and then dinner would be my first meal of the day. I’ve gotten so busy trying to build a business and being a mom that I forget to take care of myself. I feel so bad. This is probably the most unhealthy point of my life.

7. I don’t dress up most of the week. Yes, one of the perks of working for yourself is that you can work in your PJs all day long… well sometimes, that is all week long for me. If I don’t have any events I need to attend, I hardly dress up or put on my make-up. It’s really gross sometimes because I’d wear the ugliest sweats and you probably wouldn’t recognize me without my makeup on. I only amplify the best of me on the web, but really that’s probably less than half of my real life.

8. This post took me about 5 hours to write! Writing doesn’t come natural to me, it’s really not my thing. I’m pretty straightforward with my writing. Sometimes I think it’s really dry… and my grammar is horrible. And it takes me a looooong time to write a post. I’m almost embarrassed to tell you that this post took me about 5 hours to write… when it would have probably taken most of you an hour! And yes, I make my husband copy edit most of my posts!

By the way, this challenge is meant to go viral so if you’re up for the challenge, don’t be afraid to share!

(Image via Creature Comforts)



  • thanks for sharing, we all go through this but somehow think we’re the only ones! You are doing amazing things, just look at how far you have come in a year.  xo

    • Jeanne

      thank you jennifer! i always wonder how you juggle so many things… knowing you had certainly inspired me to be a great woman entrepreneur! 

  • guest

    i don’t follow your blog but i follow you on pinterest. honesty is always refreshing and sometimes can be a little intimidating for the person being honest. :) so i hope you feel lighter having spent the 5 hours (plus who-knows-how-many-subconscious-hours piecing together your feelings/thoughts) writing this post. :)

    • Jeanne

      Thanks so much for stopping by! I think I even had a dream about it and afraid that no one would respond to my post! 

  • Its really brave of you to share this, good for you Jeanne. I think that blogging can be an emotional roller coaster and in all honesty I regularly think of quitting myself. It can take quite a bit of time and does cause some stress and pressure, which occasionally feels self imposed as no one is forcing you to write the blog. I think you do an amazing job at blogging, being a mom and keeping yourself together :) even if you think that is just the outward appearance, I’m sure it is closer to the truth than you realize. Remember to not be too hard on yourself, you’re doing your best and you are definitely not the only blogger who feels this way… you’re just amazing enough to admit it, which makes you all the better.

    Look forward to your next post.


    • Jeanne

      Margot, you are so kind! I love how real you are and thanks for always being so supportive!

  • Colleen

    thanks for sharing Jeanne! I love this series and I think I’m going to share mine this afternoon. :) 

    ps- don’t quit blogging! ;) xo

    • Jeanne

      I’m so glad you’re going to take on this challenge too. I can’t wait to read yours! 

  • Igor Josifovic

    I really, really like you and your blog, Jeanne! Even more after this post. Believe it or not – it made me smile most of the time!

    • Jeanne

      Igor, you are seriously the best! Sometimes I really wish you are in SF so we can do all the goofy things together! Much love to you!! xo 

  • First of all, many kudos to you on posting this Jeanne- I think it’s so brave of you! I think your honesty is really refreshing and even though you think some of these things might scare people away, it does the opposite for me! I like getting to know the person behind the blog and doing a little “real talk” now and then.  From one blogger to another, I know that there are other things going on behind the scenes and that’s perfectly ok- that’s real life!

    You’re not the only one who has these feelings.  For me, I didn’t tell my friends about my blog for the longest time because I was worried about #3.  In all honesty, I never actually told them- they found out on their own!  Anyways, it turns out that I was really worried for nothing, because all of them think it’s cool and they support me :)

    Anyways, the point of this is to say that we all feel these things from time to time and not to be afraid to
    share how you’re really feeling.  I know, easier said than done (and I’m working on it too)!

    xx Nnenna

    • Jeanne

      Nnenna, you’ve always been so supportive my blog! Thanks for also opening up. :) 

  • WithStyleGrace

    oh love, thank you for sharing all this. I know being open and vulnerable isn’t easy. Good news, you’re not alone, but surrounded by lots of love! sending you a big virtual hug! xo

    • Jeanne

      Lisa, you are so sweet! I’m always so touched by your posts, and it’s because you’re always so honest. I love that about you! 

  • Jeanne, Thanks for having the courage to share these secrets with us. I feel your struggle in each and every one. It would have taken me just as long to get this post out. Though, in my case, one hour to write it and then another four rereading/tweaking it a hundred times and feeling immense fear before hitting publish. I’m so glad you joined the movement. I like seeing this side of people. Don’t get me wrong, I love to see what is inspiring and beautiful to people as much as the next person. But, I also like the raw, tender side of people. It doesn’t scare me away in the least.

    • Jeanne

      oh gosh…. my mind can go soooo numb rereading and editing my post too! i also had the thought of not publishing this at all. even my husband questioned me if i really wanted to share this with the public?! but then i thought, well, i’m not gonna spend 5 hours writing this for nothing! :) 

  • i love your honesty. i’ve never been on your blog and this is the first thing i read. and i read all of it, versus clicking off it to something else right away. i have been toying with the idea of blogging and the very things that you listed are many of the reasons why i haven’t started. i want it to be an expression of my life, values and loves and not to let it rule me or determine how i need to spend my time. i never want to feel pressure from it based on rules i have heard of how blogs should be done or how frequent posts need to be put on it. i want to be in charge of it, actually, i want Jesus to lead me fully in it, as opposed to it leading me. so thanks. thanks for your post. it reminds me of a very thoughtful post that a friend just posted on her blog that is really worth reading. jamie is an American friend who lives in Japan.

    oh, and i just started to follow you on pinterest. blessings to you and your family–especially that baby!

    • Jeanne

      Kyong, this is so wonderful! thanks for stopping by (and not leaving!) I think there are many people out there would appreciate your blog, if you were to start one. i initially was going to start a blog called “the sweet things in life” – blogging about love & life and the little things that makes us happy… but i chickened out and decided to go with Shop Sweet Things. Don’t get me wrong, I still love the direction that I took. But I can also feel that there are many readers out there that would appreciate someone like you to shed some light on life. 

      Thanks for the link to your friend’s post. Will definitely read up on it! 

  • honesty takes courage and it’s really brave of you to come forward in full vulnerability to expose to your readers how you truly feel about blogging and the struggles you go through. i’m sure a lot of bloggers can relate to this post. i most certainly can!! haha. especially # 2, # 3 and # 8! it probably would have taken me 10 hours to write this post, so i’m jealous it took you 5 hours! hehe. you totally rock even more for in my book for being so open! have a great weekend! and i’ll be looking forward to your “sweet things under $20” on monday :) have a great weekend, Jeanne!

    • Jeanne

      Thanks girl! You are so sweet, and I’m so appreciative of your support. Have a lovely weekend too!! xoxo

  • Great post Jeanne!  You’re a great mom and never give up the blogging – you are too good at it! 

    • Jeanne

      Thanks so much, Katie! I’m really glad you are here with me on this blog and enjoy contributing here! xoxo 

  • Thao Le

    Well dear – you are just amazing and this post is wonderful. thanks for sharing your deepest and darkest <3

    • Jeanne

      Thank so much Thao!! You’ve been so supportive of me and I love you so much for that!! We have to get together next time you’re in SF! xo 

  • Jeanne – I feel the same way about so many of these statements! Somedays I wonder why I am doing it – so much pressure on myself while trying to make sure most importantly that I am giving my babies the time they need from me. But it is still an outlet to feel like I am accomplishing something on my own. But I can get bogged down by comparing myself to others as well! Good for you for putting it out there! Miss you! XX

    • Jeanne

      Melissa, I don’t even know how you do it with 3 bambinos! And the fact that you are now building a side gig as a kids photographer… that is impressive! xo & big hug!! xo 

  • There are so many things that hit home with me that you just wrote.

    1. I don’t follow people for the sake of follow. I think the “i’ll follow you back” crap is silly. I follow who I like. And follow me if you like but I don’t need just another number of followers on twitter or wherever that aren’t really following or interacting.

    2. I now have 2 kids (I started my blog/website when I had my daugther, my son is now 7 months) and I feel like I should just put the computer away and be the full time mom I am supposed to be. But I can’t. Seriously I am addicted. I have gotten alot better at writing faster and time management than when I started but still I don’t need to check my stats and be on twitter all the time.

    3.  I don’t get dressed up all the time either. In fact right now I have a tee and sweats on. Often I style my shots off something I want to wear in my closet or build on something I am just hanging around the house in. I don’t go out to alot of events (I should smooze more I know) but I love doing outfit posts …

    4. heres a new one – I HATE doing giveaways. Yes people like free stuff. And they drive traffic. But it is fickle traffic – most of the people are just hanging around to enter the giveaway and they are gone. Rarely are we rewarding our actual followers.

    As much as I think blogging is fun, and way more creative than my old day job, there are of course negatives like anything else we do in life.

    Thanks for sharing!

    • Jeanne

      I’m so glad you share much of the same feelings, Jane! I tried doing outfit posts too but it’s just not me… and with a toddler running around, it’s just impossible. So, thumbs up to you for even able to do it! xo 

  • jeanne, i totally appreciate your honesty and i’m so glad you shared those things about how your feeling. it is definitely not a crime to feel like you don’t want to attend every event or even write a post on some days. i too have struggled with creating a balance between the blog, my day job, and carving out time for friends and family (oh and taking care of myself!) and it’s damn hard! i will say that i love your blog and i think you’re doing an amazing job at it, but we all struggle with the ups and downs…know that you aren’t alone (i can totally relate to #2, #3, #6, #7, and #8)

    • Kim, you really inspire me as a blogger. You’re always out and about and looking so wonderfully put together! I sometimes wonder if I’m a little too old to start a lifestyle/fashion blog since most bloggers I meet these days are in their 20s, but when I think about bloggers like you, I feel like age is never a limit. Just so you know, you inspire me more than just your stylish wardrobe! 

  • Marie

    Oh Jeanne, you are so brave to share with the rest of us your struggles! You are definetely not alone on that, I especially hear when you feel guilty over not spending enough time with your daughter. A happy mummy makes a happy baby. And mums always feel guilty over everything, I don’t know why. Your blog is wonderful, personal and you are a wonderful “online friend”. I wish I could live near you to know you better! Take your time and remember to take care of yourself! you have achieved an amazing job in juts a year, it’s incredible! Don’t give up, dear :-)

    • Thanks so much, Marie! I don’t even know why I’m feeling this way. There are more mothers out there with more children than I and they are all doing incredible things. You’re certainly one of them! I’m so glad we became great online friends, and I’m really enjoying your adventure moving to Tokyo! xo 

  • 1smileygirl

    I can totally see how hard this could be to write. Writing something personal and to the heart can be hard. I’m glad you were able to get this off your chest. I blog too but mine is a personal blog. Mine is about my family and it’s a way for me to document everything my kids do. Plus it’s a great way for me to share with family who live far to watch my kids grow. I’ll admit I read a lot of blogs. Sometimes I can’t keep up. It’d hard to keep up with blogging. I feel bad for my family who are expecting to read something and I don’t have anything. It’s great that you have an outlet for yourself. I know you said you don’t read over two paragraphs but read this post … It’s quite interesting. (

    • Cynthia, you have no idea how cool I thought it was to reconnect with you via blogging. It’s crazy how we knew each other since the SSPP days! It’s funny how you don’t blog publicly but yet you still share similar feelings. I think it’s so great that you’re able to keep up with so many things while you got your hands full with your two boys! kudos to you! And thanks for the link… will read up on it soon! xo 

  • Jeanne I really appreciate this post, you shared so many things about yourself that make me like you even more (if that’s even possible). What I’ve always loved about you and your blog is that you’re genuine, that if we were to meet we’d become wonderful friends. I follow quite a few blogs and there are a lot that I love just because I love how the photos look and they’re amazing, but I don’t quite connect with the blogger/writer like I do with you. 

    I think a lot of the same things and feel bad every time I do, like maybe at 5 months in this isn’t what I’m supposed to be doing, because writing does not come naturally for me either so it’s always a work in progress. I don’t think you should quite, maybe you just need a mini vaca from the blog, it can ge so grueling writing up new content 5 days a week. I love your blog and I hope we can meet in real life one day, because you inspire me. I love your that you’re such a kind, sweet and loving mom, I know I don’t know you very well but from what I’ve seen one day when I have a family I’d love to be a mommy and blogger like you :) Your kindness since I first started leaving comments and emailing with you have really helped me with my blog, I’ve learned so much from you and I just wanted you to know that!

    • Bettina, even though we haven’t followed each other for very long, I know you’re one of the sweetest person ever! I can’t tell you how happyI am to know that I’m an inspiration to you. I don’t like to judge people based on their numbers or how big their blog is, rather, I value the genuine interaction we have as bloggers. And I really feel like we are developing that relationship.  Thank you so much for your support, it really means a lot to me! xo 

  • Hi Jeanne!
    I’m sitting here on a Saturday night in Cape Town (and you’re in a totally different time zone & maybe day in SF) and trying to catch up on reading the few blogs I have time to follow. And then I read this post. I’m impressed with your bravery and candid voice. It’s not easy to say what you think and feel, without wondering how people will respond! Blogging is an amazing tool for people around the world to feel connected and share their voice. But you’re right…it’s pretty tough too. Especially if you have a life which includes little ones! As mothers, we walk a fine line between giving up our inner person for the sake of our children and being a creative, inspiring role model for our little ones. I honesty don’t think I’d be an interesting person if I did nothing else but be a ‘mom’, even though I feel stretched at times.

    But there are days when I wonder if anyone would even notice if I didn’t post on the blog. Would I even be missed in blogland? It can be quite isolating and lonely. But I guess we all have these thoughts and we’re our own worst enemies!

    I’m really glad we ‘met’ last year on BYW… your blog has grown in so many ways and you should be proud of yourself!

    take care, xx Megan

    • Thanks so much, Megan! I totally know what you mean when you wonder if anyone would notice if we post or not! I have that very same feeling. And you’re so right about being creative…I often ask my husband, what would I be doing right now if I was just a mom? I think I would be uninteresting as well and unfulfilled… and would probably wonder what would happen if I started something on my own. While we all share these same struggles, I do think what we’re doing for ourselves is what makes us so happy. Really glad we met through BYW too and able to support each other from the very beginning! xo 

  • Anastasia

    Great post Jeanne!!

    I appreciate these honest posts
    going around the blogging world  – it just shows we are all human
    with the same doubts, fears, frustrations and insecurities…. some have shared
    feelings of ‘blogging envy’ and jealousy and anger that blogs are only
    portraying a ‘perfect world’

    but again I think that goes back to
    the insecurities they are feeling within themselves.

    As I commented on Ez’s post, it
    would be crazy to compare my life  to a perfectly edited blog, of
    course we would feel inferior or not good enough!

    and at the end of the day there are
    more serious things happening in the world more important than having the
    latest coffee table or ‘It’ bag right?


    Still, I love looking at pretty
    blogs, for me its a way to be inspired and get creative and its relaxing outlet
    to look at lovely images and things

    but I dont want that kind of life
    for myself – I dont want to have the latest of everything, I dont want to buy
    things just for the sake of having them – its a struggle isnt it
    especially since I want to teach my kids about the value of money and buying
    whats important – they are constantly nagging me for the latest games, gadgets
    etc and even though it would be nice to have new things all the time, we really
    need to assess what is really important for us.

    Oh i get it with the ‘bad mum’
    feelings – thats just normal to feel that guilt of having ME time and not
    being there for them all the time! …its a constant struggle of mine too as is
    the diet part haha…ive been SO bad lately!



    • So great to hear your thoughts, Anastasia! It’s always so nice to hear the perspective from someone who’s been blogging for a while. It’s so true that we sometimes compare our life to the perfectly edited blog… which it’s so absurd! Thanks so much for bringing that to my attention. I haven’t even thought of it that way but it makes total sense. I guess the bad mum feeling will never go away, will it?! xo 

  • Ah, Jeanne…! I am late to this party, but so glad I stopped by. This post is SO on point with so much I have been feeling lately, too. As a blogger, a mother, a wife, a professional. Some days it just feels like we are not killing it at any of the above. So thank you for sharing. Because it is so nice to know I’m not the only one :)

    Raluca –

    • Thank you, Raluca! I’m so glad you can relate to this post too. It’s funny how we always think we’re the only ones, but in fact, so many of us share the same struggles! Keep it up, lady! I need women like you to inspire me all the time. :) 

  • lauren

    All I can say is WOW.
    Number one – I feel incredibly blessed that you have the time to read my blog and comment ;)
    Number two – I swear you just wrote exactly how I feel.
    Number three – I am so so so thankful for the girl who started this challenge! I absolutely LOVE when bloggers are brave enough to share things like this, let alone start a challenge! I am SO happy to know I am not alone. And I feel like these things should be discussed more! As the saying goes, “life isn’t just cupcakes and rainbows”. 

    I AM SO DOING THIS CHALLENGE! It’s about to get real :)
    P.S. I am having my mom read this as we speak! She always harps on me for spending too many hours on the computer and blogging and just doesn’t understand. Hopefully after reading this, she will know I am not alone!


    • Aww, Lauren!! You have accomplished so much since you started. My mother is pretty much the same way, except she doesn’t even understand what blogging & social media is so it’s even harder for me to get through to her why I’m on the computer so much! Can’t wait to read your post. :) xo 

  • houseofearnest

    Jeanne, I love your points and have a lot of the same worries.  I laughed to myself when you said that sometimes your writing is really dry and you have poor grammar, because that is how I feel about myself! I read and re-read what I write and think, “this is boring and makes no sense!”

    I (and it looks like a ton of others too) LOVE your blog and find it refreshing and lighthearted.  I know it takes SO much work to make it appear that way, but I want to let you know that it’s worth every second you devote…. any how can someone think you’re vain when you have sweet things under $20?  :)

    Have a fun, relaxing, and unplugged vacation this week!

    • Thx soooo much, Erin! So comforting to hear you feel the same and being so supportive of my blog. Really glad we met at Alt and seriously, your blog is so inspiring in so many ways! All those DIYs, I don’t know how you come up with so many! :) 

  • jeanne, this is such a great post! it’s so scary to put yourself out there in this way and i think it’s brave and wonderful that you did!  i’m hoping that it’s been a mirror to show you how much everyone appreciates all of your hard work and creative efforts, and that knowledge makes it all just a little bit easier.  :)  

    • Sarah, tysm for your sweet note! It’s really nice to know that I’m not alone on this and really appreciate everyone’s support! I’ve never been this transparent to anyone (other than my husband), so yes, this was indeed a bit scary. :) xo 

  • becca | cake.

    I finally had a chance to read your post Jeanne- thanks so much for sharing!  I’ve been working on my own for almost a week now and can’t quite find the right words to get it all down and hit publish. 

    • Oh yea, it was a really hard post to write, that’s for sure! Thanks for stopping by. Hope you will be publishing yours soon. xo 

  • Ashley

    Jeanne, this was awesome, comforting and inspiring to read. Know how many bloggers out there feel the same as you do! I struggle with many of these things too! All the time! 

  • What a sweet and lovely post Jeanne!  Blogging can be wonderful and bring one in contact with such cool people from all corners of the globe.  It can indeed also be isolating and seem too much like a job (ahh the pressure of producing post after post on a timeline!)  
    You do a beautiful job of posting light, lovely things.  I remember trading a few comments a bit earlier on.  I also admit that I follow mainly blog buddies and try to comment back.  But, like you Ms. Styling and Inspirational Mom, I have a full time job.  This is also one that will have me traveling all over Asia so I really don’t have the time or connectivity to visit everyone’s blogs every day.  I also feel extremely guilty that your blog is so chic and streamlined and I still haven’t settled on a blog designer for my WP transfer!

    Blogging should be like all things in life – something that gives us fulfillment and makes us happy.  I am really running out of time to blog/check my blogger friend’s blogs daily. But for the first time, I am ok with it.  I have to make room for all the other important things in my physical life.  I would love to be a rocking mama like you some day and have a cool blog.  We are alike in so many ways!  But in the meantime, just keep it cool girl and do what makes you smile!

    xoxo,Chic ‘n Cheap Living

  • Seeko Lateeko

    Im a freelance interior designer, working in Cairo, and this is the first post I ever read on your blog… I am not married or have kids but I relate to almost all your fears… I’m actually loved reading them cause it made me feel I’m not alone facing those fears in this world… Women in world face very similar fears, yet each one of us thinks she’s alone through it… And it’s only by getting it out, writting about it, reading about it, commenting about it & then sharing it, do we actually feel better about it… We feel connected, we feel assured, we feel inspired & we get a big push to go further…
    Your post has been an inspiration for me, I sincerely thank you for it & I tell you you are a great woman & I’m sure a great mom… It’s those mistakes we make that makes us who we are, I’m using “mistake” here as we each call them, although they’re just our trials in life… We try, we adapt, we change, we try, we succeed, we go on :))))

  • Bianca Sotelo

    Jeanne, I love this. I just started blogging with Reichel from Copy Cat Chic. Your honesty is comforting. I have the exact same thoughts and love to write about them on my blog. People need to know our different layers. It takes everybody back to reality. Don’t stop, you’re amazing!  I hope to meet you in person some day soon! :) Thanks for your hard work!