Things I’m Afraid To Tell You

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things i'm afraid to tell you

I’m not even sure how to start this post because 1) it has nothing to do with shopping or pretty things, and 2) it’s Friday and I don’t know how many of you are up for reading something this deep. If you’ve been here for a while, you would know that my posts are generally very light-hearted, so blogging about this is completely out of the norm for me.

I have been blogging for over a year now and been thinking quite a bit about the ups & downs. I’ve been wanting to share some insights, particularly the downside of it, but I can’t bring myself to be brave enough to share it with you… especially on this blog because I’m suppose to be inspiring you with all the pretty and happy things, and how glamorous and easy blogging really is. So I’m afraid that if I tell you the uglier side of things, you might see this blog differently.

But somehow, I still have a strong urge to share this with you. I feel like we all go through similar struggles, one way or the other. And then I came across this challenge, “Things I’m Afraid To Tell You”from EZ of Creature Comforts yesterday. I normally don’t read post more than 2 paragraphs long but this one really grabbed me. This challenge was giving me that extra push to share all the things I’ve been afraid to tell you and I cannot thank EZ enough for encouraging this community to share our struggles….. so, here it is, I’m spilling the beans…

1. I don’t follow blogs. I never did. I didn’t even read one single blog before I started blogging. The only reason I would follow your blog now is either we met in person, we somehow developed a relationship through Twitter, or you’re just really really big like Design Sponge. I know, this is really bad because I’m not really, really big myself and I expect you to follow mine.

I also have another reason why I don’t follow blogs. It’s because I would start comparing. I start to think of all the bad stuff like oh, I’m not creative enough or oh, I’m not cut out at doing this. Then I get into this really competitive/jealousy mode that it boggles me down. And then the next thing I know is that I wasted my energy trying to be better than everyone else’s that I forget to focus on my myself.

2. I want to quit blogging. Blogging is hard, man! Unless you’re doing blogging as a hobby or you don’t really care for your numbers or traffic,  it IS a lot of work!  I go through these roller coaster feelings where sometimes I feel like I achieved a lot and then the next day I feel so shitty that I just want to quit altogether. There are a lot of pressure in keeping up with the trend and be original at the same time. And when it boils down to whether or not your blog is making the bucks…sometimes you just want to give up. (Ok, don’t worry, I don’t think I am anytime soon. I’m just sayin’.)

3. You might think I’m really vain. It gets to me sometimes when all I talk about on this blog are either material things, pretty things, swags, cool events, and who’s who that I met… dah, dah, dah.. and then I’m scared that you would think I don’t really know what’s happening in the real world. Sometimes, I ‘m afraid I would turn into that person too. I would go through a week without reading any news, and then get so consumed with the blog world that I forget there are people suffering out there and facing real world problems.

4. I’m afraid of being taking advantage of. As a blog grows, more and more companies and brands will approach you with free stuff. Yes, you can get pretty jaded and   it’s nice to get free products and blog about it. But after a while, you start to think, does my time really only worth $25 of that product you just gave me? So, right now I’m trying to be careful of not being taking advantage of, or perhaps, do what’s in my best interest.

5. I’m worried that I’m a bad mom. I first quit my job to be a full-time stay at home mom. But now, I’m slowly creeping back into a full-time work schedule with my blog. I’m worried that I’m not spending enough time with my baby. Luckily, I do have my mother watching her and that she’s spending quality time with the grandparents, but still… there’s a part of me that does feel guilty for not taking care of her myself.

6. My diet has gone terribly bad. I go through days sometimes with just a cup or two of coffee and then dinner would be my first meal of the day. I’ve gotten so busy trying to build a business and being a mom that I forget to take care of myself. I feel so bad. This is probably the most unhealthy point of my life.

7. I don’t dress up most of the week. Yes, one of the perks of working for yourself is that you can work in your PJs all day long… well sometimes, that is all week long for me. If I don’t have any events I need to attend, I hardly dress up or put on my make-up. It’s really gross sometimes because I’d wear the ugliest sweats and you probably wouldn’t recognize me without my makeup on. I only amplify the best of me on the web, but really that’s probably less than half of my real life.

8. This post took me about 5 hours to write! Writing doesn’t come natural to me, it’s really not my thing. I’m pretty straightforward with my writing. Sometimes I think it’s really dry… and my grammar is horrible. And it takes me a looooong time to write a post. I’m almost embarrassed to tell you that this post took me about 5 hours to write… when it would have probably taken most of you an hour! And yes, I make my husband copy edit most of my posts!

By the way, this challenge is meant to go viral so if you’re up for the challenge, don’t be afraid to share!

(Image via Creature Comforts)